Spanish tourist gone naked and wild

Question: What do you do when your bag accidentally falls in a moat?

Answer: Strip butt naked and go after it! Yep, that’s exactly what this Spanish tourist did. Now that’s what I call balls of steel!

According to news.com.au, a Spanish tourist in Tokyo has caused havoc as he swam naked in the moat around the Imperial Palace, one of Japan's most sacrosanct sites.

It took the police 2 hours to finally seize control of the man as he tossed rocks at the police whilst climbing over the moat’s wall. Onlookers saw this as a huge youtube phenomenon so they took out their mobile phones and started taping the whole fiasco.

Fuji Television reported that the 40-year-old toured the palace in central Tokyo along with five other Spanish tourists when his bag accidentally fell into the moat, Whilst the group was speaking with the police for help, the man with gonads of steel apparently threw his belongings out of his pockets, stripped butt naked and dived straight into the water to recover his bag.
That is the sh*t right there! My bag fell into the water aye? F**k these clothes I’m going after it! Who cares if everyone can see my lethal love log, I have nothing to hide . . . well actually, I have something to show off so keep those mobile phone cameras rolling people, there’s a new deadly python in town and I ain’t referring to the snake statue in the Imperial Palace!

An elderly woman was interviewed by Fuji Television and she said "I'm lucky I don't have very good eyesight . . . I can't believe he did this here, but he probably didn't know the significance of this area,'' she continued.

Police initially came up to the Spanish tourist in a small rowboat and tried to toss him a float. He responded by thumping the water in a hostile way and then suddenly he started throwing stones at the officers out of the blue. After climbing out of the moat, he then charged at the police officers whilst still butt naked and they responded by pushing him back into the water. Police finally got hold of him as he got out of the water a second time.

What the hell is this guy thinking? Did he suddenly lose his mind after his bag fell into the moat?? He must’ve gotten a few screws in his head lose after that bag left his shoulders and fell in the water. Where the hell did the hell did all this hostility come from?? Well, I hope it was all worth it that’s all I can say. Because you definitely don’t want to spend some jail time in Tokyo- Imagine if your soap fell into the shower floor. . You better not dare pick it up or someone will suddenly karate chop your ass from behind out of the blue- using an unconventional weapon of destruction. If you know what I mean.

Image: news.com.au

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Gangsta Granny takes on thieves

What do you do when you see four you punk ass thieves trying to steal your partner’s car? Bring out the scrubbing brush and cleaning spray and chase the sh*t out of ‘em! Yeah that’s right b*tches, run for your wretched lives- Gangsta Granny’s in the house! Say Whattt!! Whoop Whoop!

Brisbane suburban grandmother Doreen Clarke, 65, of Doolandella in Brisbane's southwest, said "rage just took over" when she realised the youths were trying to steal her partner's car about 10am (AEST) on Monday, The Courier-Mail reported.

Ms Clarke was chillaxing at home probably pumping iron whist listening to Tupac when she suddenly realised something was amiss because she saw that her back screen door was open."I didn't even hear them come in. The first I knew they were there was when I noticed the back screen door open," Ms Clarke quipped. Gangsta granny then faced up to one offender. "He told me his dog had run in here. As I went to have a look he grabbed the car keys off a table. I started whacking him with the brush," Ms Clarke said. I guess watching boys in the hood several times has finally paid off; this grandma is one badass honey!She was apparently pushed out of the way as two of the thieves ran to join the others in the Ford Falcon. But Ms Clarke with her cleaning spray of destruction and scrubbing brush of fury did not give up and landed several punches on the sh*thead through the window before finally removing the keys. "I got him square in the face with the bottom of the cleaning spray. He had his hands up trying to stop me and then he tried to climb into the back." Gangsta granny’s finally got a taste of the hood and you can bet your ass she ain’t comin’ back yo!

Ms Clarke's neighbour heard the scuffle and called out over the fence that police were on their way. "They couldn't get out of the car fast enough then. They ran off down the street with my handbag, but my purse had fallen out of it in the car. They got nothing," she said. The police came too late, the four punk asses messed with the wrong granny. I guess all those Tupac inspired iron pumping has done wonders for this Granny’s guns. "She got in a nice punch," acting Senior Sergeant Kev Schremmer said. "I don't think we'd advise anyone to do that, but it worked out well for her."

Worked out well is damn right! Hey maybe I should call her up so I can her hire her as my bouncer or something? We can hit the clubs and as soon as I see any sign of trouble I’ll get gangsta granny to bring out her scrubbing brush and cleaning spray to annihilate the sh*t out of anything that moves.

Gangsta granny’s house has no doors, only walls that she walks through. So watch out future punk ass b*tches, when Gangsta Granny talks, everybody listens. And dies.

Image: news.com.au

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